World War Sequel

So what's the best sequel of all time?

The Empire Strikes Back?
whack.
The Dark Knight?
trite.
Anal Rampage 73?
unlikely.

World War 2. That's the greatest sequel of all time. I mean, World War 1 was okay, but when you look past its "historical importance" or whatever, you'll realize that it was slow and boring as hell: just a bunch of guys sitting in trenches all day, playing cards and dying like chumps because they contracted diseases from the unsanitary living conditions of these trenches. Unsanitary living conditions? Is that what you call a war? Whatever happened to getting shot you pussies? Of course, that's not all there was to World War 1, they also had some air battles going on - with ancient World War 1 biplanes that imploded whenever a gust of wind hit them too hard.

World War 1 is like a shitty, yet still historically important silent film that you just know would have been a whole lot better if it had a higher budget and maybe some sound effects. Thankfully, after the war ended and the good guys defeated the evil German Pre-Nazis, Germany had to pay some very high reparations, and because of the reparations money they paid, there was enough of a budget to make World War 2 live up to its glorious potential (I'll research this later). And in fact, World War 2 had everything! It had a bigger budget (nuking Japan, you just know that shit was expensive). Compared to World War 1 it had much better toys: panzer tanks, flame throwers, submarines, real airplanes, and even a decent spinoff Quentin Tarantino movie. And we can never forget World War 2's epically tragic side-quest: that whole throwing half of Europe into concentration camps to genocide them thing. That shit was intense (and I don't mean mildly intense like hate fucking a fat chick, I mean seriously intense like a last boss fight in a burning oil refinery... except the fire is made out of Jews. . . what, too soon?)

World War 2 also featured what is easily the greatest villain of all time: fucking Hitler man, HITLAH! Hitler makes the Wicked Witch of the West look like the Easter Bunny; Hitler makes Osama Bin Laden look like a classy ruffian in a monocle and top hat. Hitler was a true villain. World War 1 on the other hand, did World War 1 even have a villain? Who was the villain of World War 1? Gavrilo Princip maybe? What comes to your mind when you hear the name Gavrilo Princip anyway? I'm betting ten-to-one it's probably, "who the fuck's Gavrilo Princip?"

Exactly. He's not what you’d call a very memorable villain. Hitler, on the other hand, everybody knows who Hitler is:

So anyway, if you didn't laugh at this article, you're dead inside. If you did laugh at it, you're dead inside as well. In short, I hate you.