Just because I do drugs doesn't mean I'm not a winner, motherfucker!

BEHOLD the most annoying public service announcement of all time:

If you've ever stepped into a video game arcade during their heyday, then you've seen it. This image would appear during the demo that played before you put your quarters into the machine:

Winners don't use drugs? What the hell were video game designers thinking when they came up with this phrase? It's a little difficult to pass yourself off as a concerned citizen by writing a brief anti-drug message when a prominent feature of your game happens to be murdering thousands of people with a crowbar.

I guess that's the moral of video games then: say no to drugs, say yes to violence! Don't be a hippie, join the fucking army son!

The truth is, heavy metal and video games are the army's number one recruitment tool and everybody knows it. Video games and metal, we need to expose more kids to these products, because how else are we going to raise enough sociopathic loners to keep our military going?

Now there's an honest public service announcement... for a change.

Parents yell at you to get good grades, teachers yell at you when you misbehave and current girlfriends yell at you when your penis accidentally slips into ex-girlfriends (accidentally), but video games don't yell at you, video games don't preach, they don't judge: they let you go on a cyber rampage dominating everything you see. Video games are made for you to have fun... violent, irresponsible fun. And the responsible message of "winners don't use drugs" is shitting all over that fun. It's basically the government's way of putting a turd in the punchbowl.

The gamer population went to the arcades, saw "winners don't use drugs" flash on the screen, and they thought the games were calling them losers. They couldn't stand being judged at a place that was never supposed to judge them, which may the reason why the arcades died out. So not only is "winners don't use drugs" the most annoying public service announcement of all time, but since it killed off the arcades it's also the most dangerous. Stay vigilant!