There's absolutely nothing wrong with working for minimum wage. . . but only if you give minimum effort.  Doing the best job you know how to do and still only getting paid minimum wage is just embarrassing.  They pay you well enough not to starve to death but barely any more, so you should work hard enough not to get fired but barely any more.  Keep the service just lose that damn fake smile.  

I often see minimum wage employees who seem just a little too devoted to their jobs.  My buddy was late in returning some kids' movies to Blockbuster once and the employee told him

"What really gives me grief is that you haven't returned Dora the Explorer yet."

That dude needs a reality check.  Your best friend falling down a well should give you grief.  A random customer being a few days late with movies should elicit no emotional response from you whatsoever.  I'm not encouraging apathy, but really, how excited can a person get about checking ticket stubs or serving you overcooked waffles?  Well... you'd be surprised.

For a while, every time I went to a particular movie theater, I kept running into one very enthusiastic usher.  This usher looked like a hardcore punk rocker, he had forearm tattoos of goblins committing acts of property damage and the characters in his tattoos had tattoos of their own.  Even his piercings were pierced.  Now that's commitment. Commitment to looking stupid, but a commitment nonetheless.  Surprisingly though, he had a similar level of commitment to his all-important job of ticket checker. 

Every time I went to the theater where he worked, instead of checking my ticket and kindly shutting up, he would spew an avalanche of overzealous corporate bullshit at me:

Of course this annoyed me.  One time, I figured I'd give the poor guy the benefit of the doubt.  With a patient, reassuring tone of voice I said "It's alright man. . . you don't have to say that corporate jive to me, I'm on your side." 

I don't know what I was expecting to accomplish by saying this, but he didn't react to my words very positively.  In fact, he turned to me with a threatening look on his face and he said "What?  You think you're too good for the card or something?"

Oh shit.  Am I too good to own a piece of plastic?  His question was so odd that I found it hard to respond with anything clever so I answered that corporate robot's question with the obvious: "Yes, yes I am too good for the card".  After I told him that he just stood there speechless.  Then, as I was walking away, I heard his robot head explode in some sort of workplace "robot head explosion" incident.  It was awesome (the resulting fire and the burning smell even made me pop a chubby if I remember correctly).

I don't think it was an act.  This robot actually seemed like he genuinely cared about selling crummy gift cards and profiting the stupid conglomerate that hired him (NOTE FOR THE SLOW: in real life the usher was not an actual robot. The robot imagery is what is known as sym-bol-ism).  When he talked about the "great deals" he had to offer me, his eyes lit up and I could hear a passion in his voice that us normal people usually reserve for the ingestion of cocaine.  This man had become a shill of the highest order, and for what?  The job of ticket usher?

Don't get me wrong: I'd sell out in a heartbeat.  But I wouldn't sell out for a nickel.  If Pepsi sent me enough money I'd whore out and sing soft rock ballads about stripping women naked and covering their bodies with Mountain Dew until eternity.  But only if they sent me enough money.  I wouldn't become Pepsi's dancing trick monkey for MINIMUM FUCKING WAGE.  Have some dignity!  Just because you work for the man it don't mean you have to whore for the man and if you are going to whore yourself out, at least do it for more than minimum wage!
WHORE FOR MORE!!
WHORE FOR MORE!!

So if you're a person with a minimum wage job, quit acting like you love it when the customers come around.  Enough with the bullshit superficial peppiness, how about some honesty?  Quit Whoring.