Remember LolCats? 

Well I didn't make LolCats... but I did make the Japanese LolCats ripoff: LolGodzillas.  No shit man!  Never heard of it?  Yeah well it's fucking big in Japan bro'.  Trust me.  It was pretty rad.  Take images of monsters from the Godzilla franchise and add "humorous" lines to go with them:

Unfortunately I don't own the copyright to Godzilla, somebody else does.  Officially, I had to give the copyright owners all the profits I made on LolGodzillas... so I officially fled japan and kept the money for myself bro!
 
I decided to stop fucking around on the internet and start creating some real change in the real world.  I had made my ill-gotten fortune and now I didn't cared about the money, I cared about helping society.  I joined a nightly news crew.  I cared about the stories.   

My newscasts revolutionized the news industry, they were like a how-to guide: instead of just telling viewers that they "might" get robbed by African Canadians when they take out the trash tonight like CNN or Faux News does I went the extra mile and told my network's viewers HOW NOT TO get robbed by African Canadians tonight (my advice was solid gold: move to a gated community unless you're poor in which case buy a cottage in the North Pole).  Instead of just telling Americans the obvious (that your daughter may get kidnapped by hungry pedophiles later tonight like CNN or Faux News will tell you), my newscasts were being helpful to society by telling daughters HOW NOT TO get kidnapped by hungry, hungry pedos:

My fear mongering news reports gave regular Americans PEDOVISION (the ability to see through a pedophile's disguise), TERRORVISION (the ability to tell the difference between an Arab and an Indian) and ALIENVISION (the ability to recognize your alien masters when Termination Day arrives).  I was a national hero!  So I did the only thing a national hero does when he wants to become even more heroic.  I joined the fucking army.  FOUND the weapons of mass destruction but then I lost them in a game of cards to an eye-patch wearing guy with metal claws who called himself Dr. Death.  Don't worry though, he's a very serious, thoughtful dude so I'm sure the weapons of mass destruction are perfectly safe in his hands... err... steel talons.  Sadly my military career ended shortly after it began.  After a while I started taking their "one man army" slogan a bit too seriously:

Lying in three separate pieces in an army hospital, staring at all the motivational posters on the walls above me, I decided that I hated motivational posters.  Afterwards I started this web site, which I consider to be the opposite of a motivational poster.