I don't need to know why you're using the bathroom, shithead.

Once I had a job working in customer service:

I sat in a chair and I answered questions from
demanding customers all day long.

In a typical day of customer service work, I would hear a whole bunch of people ask me the same one question...

Sometimes I'd get asked that question a good 30 times a day. Of course, there’s nothing wrong with having to go to the bathroom, there's nothing wrong with asking where it is either. It's just that half the people who asked me where the bathroom was, well, they would explain to me why they had to find it…

Apparently, saying "I have to use the bathroom" just wasn't good enough. People had to tell me WHY they were using it... and one day, when I was at work, I had quite a disturbing conversation with such a customer:

That was obviously a joke. Unfortunately, he didn't realize I was joking. Before I could stop him, he turned around, dashed to the elevator and got into it, desperate to find the magic second bathroom where one can actually urinate in.

When he came back a few minutes later, he wasn't very happy. Hell, he was practically hopping on one foot.

I didn't feel like explaining that I was playing a prank on his stupid ass so instead I lied to him, I said
The bathroom on this floor is "staff only" but since you couldn't find the regular bathroom, I'll let you use the staff bathroom just this once.

And he became ecstatic...
"THANKS A LOT MAAAN! I APPRECIATE IT!"
Of course, when he went to the bathroom it was probably filled with customers doing their business just like him, I guess he assumed they were all staff members.

So remember, the reason we call it the bathroom is because we don't want to call it the shit room, but when you say "where's the bathroom 'cause I need to take a shit!", you just turned it into the shit room. "Where's the bathroom?" by itself is enough, cut your request off right there.