Forget the director's cut, get it right the first time!

"Check it out dude!  It's the director's cut!  The first version of the movie that stays true to the director's intended vision!" And of course he's holding Drunken Teenage Road Trip in his hands.  A movie that was made for the sole purpose of making money off the drunken teenager demographic.  So, in other words... WHAT VISION??? Every time I see a blurb on the cover of a DVD indicating that this is the "Director's Cut Version", it always strikes me that what they're really saying is: this is the "Apology Version", like... "Give us another chance!  We know the film sucked at the theater, but now it's different. You see, the theatrical version was unoriginal and poorly paced, the director's cut is still unoriginal and poorly paced but it has an alternate song playing over the end credits." When the blu-ray or DVD you're holding is a Director's Cut, it's almost always a Special Edition Director's Cut.  I can't even remember the last time I bought a film that didn't refer to itself as the "2 disc Special Edition"... unless it referred to itself as the "3 disc Ultimate Edition".  I think it would be really special to get a normal edition of a movie for once.  Now, answer me this question dear reader: Alexander was a colossal box office failure and a critical flop.  It simply does not deserve this sort of deluxe treatment. Sure, the best films of all time probably do deserve to be packaged in extravagant box sets that are filled with extras, but not films like "Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead".  Poultrygiest (a musical about fast food that, when eaten, transforms people into evil, human-sized mutant chickens) comes in a deluxe 3 disc package that's crammed with hours upon hours of special features.  For only $19.99, this sounds like a great deal until you realize you're paying 20 bucks to see a film that cost 27 bucks to make.  Meanwhile, To Kill a Mockingbird, long considered to be one of the best films of all time, is only available as one disc package.  Who wants all these extras anyway?  I don't have 6 hours to spare to watch the film, watch it a second time with director's commentary that consists of long silences broken only with the occasional exhortations of "oh yeah, I remember filming that scene" and "boy it sure was cold that day" and "see that extra in the corner with his back to the camera?  That's my nephew!  Say, instead of talking about the movie, I'll tell you about that one time when my nephew was seven and he climbed up a tree but then he was too scared to get back down so we had to call the fire department and ask them to bring a ladder to get him down, but the fire department was actually on strike that week because they were involved in a pay dispute that as I recall didn't turn out too well for them so my nephew remained on the tree for two whole days and blah, blah, blah".  THEN, after all that, watch the film a THIRD time with the actor's commentary turned on, which is just a bunch of yahoos yucking it up and saying stuff like "once when we were on set, Bobby played a practical joke when he smeared his testicles in peanut butter and presented himself to the caged lion.  The lion, unfortunately, was allergic to peanut butter and died right on the spot.  We covered it up so as not to create a giant scandal with PETA."  Actually, come to think of it, that would be an awesome audio commentary.  Too bad it doesn't exist.     And let's forget about the documentary where all the actors get interviewed and talk about how much this role means to them.  What does it mean?  It means you're taking the paycheck and moving to a bigger house, that's all it means. Forget it, I got better things to do with my time.  Just give me the film and hold the bull.  Deleted scenes?  Pass!  They're deleted for a reason you cretins!