Dealing with dealers. The downside of being cool.

First of all, no child has ever been cool. Children are whiny punks who'd rather play with balloon animals than get drunk. That's clearly not awesome behavior. The road to achieving coolness starts only in high school and that's where you'll run into the biggest obstacles that might just stop you from chilling on the cool throne.

As a cool person, you don't need me to tell you that weed (that is to say, marijuana) rules since you already know. The problem with weed is that it doesn't grow on trees. . . it grows on high school campuses. Unfortunately, it is also sold by weed dealers, and weed dealers are scum. Not yet slick professionals like cocaine salesmen, who are expertly focused on taking your money and then getting the hell out of there, weed dealers are often socially inept teenagers who only started selling drugs so they'd get invited to parties. At these parties the dealers like to talk and talk but there's only one thing the other party goers want to talk about:

Trust me, most weed dealers will chew your damn ear off if you even give them half the chance. All their stories suck, every single one of them is some variation on the same theme, they were either

While talking, the dealer will mockingly finger his little baggy of goods as if to say: "Do you remember Kazaam with Shaquille O'Neal? Damn that movie was a piece of shit. Not bad though. Anyway, just listen to another hour of my bullshit and maybe you can have this! Maybe."

If you can't find a good one then don't bother with dealers. Just hand one of your more reliable, spineless friends some money and tell that friend to fetch the drugs for you instead of going yourself. Remember: you are a rock star... and you don't send a rock star to do a roadie's job.